And Then, The Old Ones….

Once more may I offer something from way back there which offers you all yet another chance to chant in unison, “The old ones are the best ones!”

A small zoo in Glasgow acquired a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few weeks the gorilla, a female, became very difficult to handle.

Upon examination, the veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was in season. To make matters worse, there was no male gorilla available.

Thinking about their problem, the Zoo Keepers thought of young Fergal Shaugnessy, a local lad & part-time worker responsible for cleaning out the animal cages.

Fergal had little sense but seemingly the ability to satisfy females of any species. The Zoo Keepers thought they might have a solution.  Fergal  was approached with a proposition. Would he be willing to mate with the gorilla for £500? Fergal  showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully.

The following day, he announced that he would accept their offer, but only if four conditions were agreed to:

1. "First", Fergal  said, "Ah'm no gonnae kiss her on the lips." The Keepers quickly agreed to this condition.
2. "Second", he said, "Ye cannae never tell naebody aboot this." The Keepers again readily agreed to this condition.
3. "Third", Fergal  said, "I want all the weans raised as Celtic fans." Once again it was agreed.
4. "And last", Fergal  stated, "You got tae give me another week to come up with the £500."

Quote;  Carl Sagan.

“I think the discomfort that some people feel in going to the monkey cages at the zoo is a warning sign.”