11 Feb 2014

And Then, It’s How You Read Them….

I was sitting here this afternoon, just clicking away, when her indoors commented as to how bloody annoying my clicking was and would I please stop it and find something grown-up to do.

I did stop the obviously annoying clicking but wot I decided to do still involved just a-sittin’ and a-clickin’ away with nary a care.  This time I was clicking round the interestingly named Information Highway or Double-u, Double-u, Double-u.

This was fine ‘till, by an uncoordinated series of scrolls and clicks, I inadvertently ran off the highway and onto the byway that is the  BBC News place. I thought, what the hay, I’m here so let’s check it out.

The first few paragraphs where winners and I would like to present them below. Why? Read ‘em, with just a little twist applied,and you’ll understand. They’re spot on!

More severe weather is expected to hit flood-stricken parts of the UK later, as the prime minister continues a tour of the worst-affected areas.
It’s true then – young Dave’s the centre of a rapidly moving low pressure system.
Or, “I’m that PM person and I’m here, in a hardhat, to help…”

Alanna Burns, of Chertsey in Surrey, told BBC Radio 4's Today programme water levels were still rising, and there were not enough officials around and no sandbags.
Just plug the leaks you can with the officials you have then. The sandbags are still in Westminster.

Residents have been left like "sitting ducks waiting for it to happen", she said.
Was that thought through or did it just pop out? I like it.

That’s all - but wait! Don’t go out that door! Please leave using the cleaver portal in blue below which will transport you, as if by magic, to the good Captains fine vessel for a ‘don’t miss’ post!

Quote;  {Again.} The Times.

“A young girl who was blown out to sea on a set of inflatable teeth was rescued by a man on an inflatable lobster. A coastguard spokesman commented, ‘This sort of thing is all too common’.”


Caratacus said...

At some point in the day, I heard some silly ... person ... on the BBC say, "the people of Somerset feel they've been left high and dry by the Guvvamunt". I think they must have to pass special exams in Crass Stupidity or something.

Mac said...

....and the ever popular, oft repeated, '...home owners in floods of tears.'