13 Nov 2013

And Then A Little Clarification….

I understand Crazy Davey has told some energy guys not to treat the population as cash-cows. He’s in the government, right? Is that another oxymoron then?

Mr Davey’s allegedly a grown-up who’s allegedly in charge of something.

Anyhoo, forget what he said – this is what he said;

“The energy companies just can’t be allowed to introduce a new breed to these islands without consulting government.” King Edward Head mashed out at a deserted press conference, “They need to leave this sort of work to us. Cows are just a minimal form of ‘extraction’  to us, as successive governments have made amazing advances in sheep engineering, manipulation and programming resulting in a strain of sheep that, unlike the original breed which could only be sheared once a year, can be sheared, or as we say in government, fleeced, pretty much non-stop.”

He continued, casually flicking dead bats off his briefcase and muttering into a muted mic, ”However, I will be holding urgent talks, early next year, with the energy companies, who, compared to government, are rank armatures at fleecing and milking, to explore the possible advantages of integrating  ‘their’ cash-cows and the governments sheep with the intention of forming a single entity, tentatively to be known as a Gizzitall.  The resultant Gizzitalls  will not only be available for fleecing twenty four seven but we’ll be able, in the unlikely event anything be missed during the fleecing process, to resort to milking ‘em dry. Fleece an’ milk. Win – win!” He joyfully concluded, not fully understanding a word he’d said.

Mr Davey left the press conference, to his own loud applause, after stating categorically that energy prices in the future could possibly be higher or lower or even the same as they are today. Or, if there’s no energy, free.  Crazy confirmed that, “If the ‘free’ option become available, VAT at thirty-five percent would be levied on a really big, made-up number.  But that’s only common sense.”

Mr Davey’s allegedly a grown-up who’s allegedly in charge of something. Let’s hope it’s not something important……

Quote;  Colin Wilson.

“The average man is a conformist, accepting miseries and disasters with the stoicism of a cow standing in the rain.”

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