21 Oct 2013

And Then A Word Of Thanks….

Dear Mr Camoron,

Following the announcement last week by British Gas of their plan to rise gas prices by 8.1% I have to admit, for a while, I felt lost as to what to do about this as there was no-one nearby to help me.

It transpired I was worrying needlessly as, within moments of the announcement, the flabby, limp, damp hand of the government reached out, took my own trembling paw and explained what I could do. Thank you. Thank you so much!

Both yourself and your crazy side-kick where most helpful with your advice regarding changing supplier. One of you mentioned this was so very simple and could even be done with a tablet. I tried with a stone tablet, which refused to responded, an Alka-Seltzer tablet, but that was just bubbles and little else, and a soap tablet which I couldn’t keep hold of long enough to do nuffink. I did try a table mat in case there’d been a miss-quote but no joy there either so I used a computer.

In conclusion, I’d just like to say thank you very big to yourself and Crazy for the stunningly obvious advice and, for your further information, I’d like to mention that I managed to complete the switch in the Clegg of time to take full advantage of the latest NPower offer of an 11.1% rise in gas prices which is 2.7% higher than the BG offer; a deal which I, and many others, may well have missed without your timely advice.

Tell you what Dave, slightly off topic, but my Unicorn’s about to have some baby Unicorns. You or Crazy want one for the kids? Drop me a line.

Anyhoo, I’d also like to take this opportunity to thank you for reminding me, again, that when it gets cold a woolly pulley will help me keep warm. Please remember to tell me when it gets warm again  so I can shed said woolly. Please don’t forget me.

As a by-the-by, I see several of your fellow hooks, crooks and comic singers are taking interviews and grabbing photo opportunities all snuggled up in woollies. You any idea how sad this looks? Dave, you boys may well believe us lot out here are all dumber-un-a-sack-o’-hair but, trust me, we’re not. Grow up, the lot of you and just admit you’ve absolutely no idea what’s going, what you’re doing or why you’re doing what you’re doing.

On the other hand Dave, you reckon stuff’ll start to improve once the Chinese and French get going with that nuke for us? On time and on budget? Hay, what can possibly go wrong? Both countries love us so very, very much, right?

Yours sincerely,

A Sack Of Hair.

Quote;  Joss Whedon.

“Recognizing power in another does not diminish your own.”

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