24 Sep 2013

And Then More Mystery 'R'….

Earlier, as the Nairobi tragedy started to unfold, 'I'm Robust' Dave went on air to stress the horror had nothing to do with IslaRm. Spot on Dave, you're right for once. But we all knew that, right? No such word David. But drop the R you love to use so much, wot's not even in the proper word, and you come up with 'Islam' and that's a whole hell of a different sorry tale which I'll leave to other folk so much better qualified to write of such things.

I've been here before, via AfghanistaRn, but how is it all these folk with super expensive educations get to use extra R's any old place they like? "Good heaveRns! It's six A-RM! Time for breakfaRst!!" Please, go to the store and pick up a tub of R-Be-Gone. Please.

Dave, let's try again, get someone to write the word in really, really big letters on a white board and see if you can spot the R. No? It's another one of those annoyingly R-less words David. Practice; say it as you see it. Hay, try breaking it down and saying it in little bighty-bits then. IS and LAM. Got it? No, no, no. You're way out there now boy. Isandlarm? David, for crying out loud, the 'and' in the middle's just a silent linky thingy, right? And you've snuck ol' Mr R back in haven't you? Try again you little tinker. Okay, that's a bit better. Not too hard is it? Now write it down a hundred times before you go for your tea-time dippy-in eggs. You know what? Make that five hundred times.

On the other hand, us wot had a lesser education were given the use of a perfectly  good H but many, many of us choose not to use it at all.
Top schools – "Excuse me boys an' girls, here's a spare R, use it anywhere you want."
Bottom schools – "Right you lot, here's an important H and I never want to 'ear it, like, used. Innit"

Quote; George Carlin.

"By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth."

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