28 Sep 2012

And Then The Tree….

Remember the apple tree that had white cotton wool looking stuff all over it?  And gave but three apples?  After consulting an expert it seems the lack of fruit is all down to the very wet weather.  His thoughts on the white cotton wool looking stuff were most interesting.  He was pretty sure it was some sort of bug that produced some sort of white cotton wool looking stuff.

Halt; there I go again, talking to myself.  Never mind, I've started, so I may as well continue.

Looking at the tree I said to myself, "What do you think we should do?  Prune it?  Cut it right back?"
"Who're you talking to?" I replied to me.
"I was talking to you."  we continued.
"But there's only you here."
"That'd be me and my very best imaginary friend."
"Come on!  There's only you here so let's try the singular."  
"I can do that.  What shall we do then?  Cut it back?"
"There's that 'we' thingy again.  You got a mouse in your pocket or wot?"
"Sorry, I forgot.  How far am I going to cut him back?"
"To just above the root may work."
"Wait a minute.  I'm still talking to me!"
"Right, but not embarrassingly out loud.  I'm kind a' keeping it my secret."
"Not really. To keep it secret I need to stop moving my lips and pointing and waving at stuff."
"Bit late for that.  Look, the neighbours have all gone inside, locked their doors and drawn the curtains already."
"Oh.  Never mind.  Shall I start hacking at the tree now?"
"I may as well; I've nothing planned for the next few days have I?  And if I haven't got anything planned then I haven't either."
"Shall I get the saw and ladder?"
"Stay there and I'll get 'em."
"Not sure that'll work." 
"Probably not.  I'll get 'em then."
"Man, we work really well together don't I?"

At the end of the first day, my very best imaginary friend and I climbed wearily – okay, fell clumsily out o' the tree and staggered in to watch the news.  What to say?  Lucky ol' France eh?  75% top rate tax?  Cordon bleu!!  Oh, sorry, sacré bleu!!  That should get rid of those pesky wealthy folk who just loaf around cluttering the place up don't yah think?

Quote;  Plato.

"How can you prove whether at this moment we are sleeping, and all our thoughts are a dream; or whether we are awake, and talking to one another in the waking state?"

No comments: