29 Dec 2011

And Then, More Helpful Information….

Further to the post regarding helpfully being told when it's cold, I caught a doozy on BBC local radio today.

It was urging the good, and obviously dim, folk of this fare island to ensure any old relatives and neighbours were okay during the festive period and, if they were on medication, that they had a plentiful supply to hand.

Also, and this is the kicker, to check their kitchen cupboards and make sure they were well stocked as, “...food and drink are essential.” Whoa!! Food and drink are essential? Is that new? When did that start?

It's to be noted that the BBC didn't manage this revelation on their own. Oh no. It was a public service announcement in conjunction with the NHS.

Let's just remind ourselves – food and drink are essential. Got it? Food and drink are essential.

“Hi old person. Everything okay? Cold in here is it?”
“Fine thanks. Yes, it is cold in here. I can't afford to turn on the Huhneators.”
“Know what you mean. Hay, it smells like boiled cabbage in here.”
“That was all I had left to eat today.”
“Hay, someone on the radio told me, like, food an' drink are essential. Is that right?”
“S'pose so.”
“Okay then. I'll pop out an' get a bit. If you're sure it's essential.”
“Yes, I believe it is pretty essential.”
“Okay then.”
“Okay then.”

Yo, you people 'in charge' of stuff, gimme a break already.

Here's an idea for you goons. The next time you become convinced you have something really, really important to communicate to us of the great unwashed, write it down and read it out loud to yourself a few times. Chances are you'll go very red in the face, tear it up, give yourself a good slapping and go hide in a dark room.

Quote; Ambrose Bierce.

Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.

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