21 Dec 2011

And Then It's 'Happy' Birthday….

It's happy birthday to me again. Come round quick do they? I seem to remember time starting to accelerate when I stepped out into the world and had to take care of my own quarterly utility bills. Man, that breathing space between finding the money, then parting with it, sure sped up the passage of time!!

As I said last year, happy? Happy for what? What am I? Am I becoming a grumpy old man? Me? Not at all. What I am is another year closer to society casting me aside like an old sweaty sea-boot, leaving me to drift aimlessly with the tide until finally becoming stranded on the semi-submerged sandbank of senility. Or, horror of horrors, getting towed into the dysfunctional, dilapidated NHS dry dock of dementia. Come on, really, how happy can you get? What did I say about being grumpy?

What happy birthday gifts did I get?* Never mind.** The way I feel right now, what I did get will probably out-last me. And that's just the comestible bits.
{*Note to self for next year{?}; activate Pay Pal.} {**'Never mind' is Foggy code for not a lot.}

I'll tell you what was amongst the stuff I didn't get, I didn't get my wish granted, as the Huhnatic is still roaming the land a free, troublesome, irritating, moonlight millionaire, scatter-cash clown. That hasn't done anything to lessen my present grumpiness.

Another wish that didn't come true; I find I'm still signed up to the BBC annual subscription scheme. Man, that's harder to shake off than a Readers Digest subscription!

Must be off now, I have pins to press into a Huhnffigy.

Hay, while we're having this inconsequential conversation about gifts, and Christmas being upon us, take note and be careful;

Jim forgot all about Valentine's Day this year. His wife was really angry. She told him, "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 5 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!!"

The next morning Jim got up early and left for work. when his wife woke she saw there was a small gift-wrapped package sitting in the middle of the driveway. Intrigued, she put on her robe and ran out to the driveway and brought the box back into the house. On opening the package she found a set of bathroom scales.

Jim's been missing since February 15, 2011.

Quote; Betty Davis.

"Getting old ain't for sissies."

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