3 Aug 2011

And Then There Was A Thought….

What I thought was, if those guys who invented{?} that computer phone software, knew then how ridiculously popular it would become, would they have given a tad more thought regarding what to call it? You're not with me on this one are you? Let me explain……

Being in the bar with a bunch of the boys, I decided, for reasons not yet fully clear to me, that I should buy a round.

By the cunning combination of a rapid up and down movement of my left eyebrow, a discreet wiggling of my right hand little finger, accompanied by a rather too loud, 'Yo!' I managed to attract the attention of the Beverage Manager.
"Yes Sir?" He enquired politely. Although to me it sounded suspiciously like, 'What!'
"Could you please, at your earliest convenience, replenish our goblets with further bountiful amounts of your beatific beer?"
"Err, you want another round?" {Actually, the word used was 'Lound.'}
"Err, yup, that'll work. Oh, could you please hold mine behind the tap as I'm dashing off to my room for a moment to Skype 'her indoors'."

It was at that precise moment I thought of the word Skype and, into my mind, the part that doesn't register in colour, but isn't altogether black and white either, no, not the part with the wind chimes and Tibetan tambourines, it's further back than that. It's the part that, if it had a legend, it'd say, 'Here Be Dragons.' Know the part I mean? Well, into that part popped an image of two little old spinster ladies of a sheltered disposition, who stopped watching TV with the demise of the Black and White Minstrel Show, within ear range, and catching my words, and spilling their small sweet sherries, started frantically rummaging through the voluminous depths of their hand-come-knitting bags in a desperate and frantic search for their smelling salts, and possibly a small fan, before being overtaken completely with the vapours.

"Good gracious! Did you hear that dreadful man dear?"
"I certainly did dear! We'd best alert someone in authority
right away."
"Or should we just pretend we didn't hear dear? I mean we don't actually know what it means to skype someone, do we?"
"Don't be silly. A word that sounds like 'skype' sounds has to be something jolly unpleasant. And did you see his face? Eyes far too close together. Mad as a hatter that one, no doubt about it. Can't be too careful these days."
"He's had a glass of beer too you know. So brazen, the way he announced to all and sundry, without a trace of shame, what he intended doing to the poor woman."
"I know dear. Probably uses tobacco as well. It makes you wonder what goes on in the minds of people like that."
"The part with the wind chimes and Tibetan tambourines you mean?"
"No, I was thinking more of the part a bit further back. The part that doesn't register in colour, but isn't altogether black and white either. The part marked, 'Here Be Dragons'.
"Are you sure we shouldn't try to find out what skype means first though?"
"Absolutely! We really don't want to know! No point getting ourselves even more upset than we already are dear. The authorities will know all about these sort of things."
"It's the wife you have to feel sorry for. Kept in her room for who knows how long with nothing to look forward to other than being skyped by that shocking man."
"You're right, and anyway, it's what Miss Marples would do so let's run, run like the wind, with not a moment to loose!"
"Terrible business. Lucky we were here dear, to hear him."

So there you have it. Could there've been a better name than Skype? ComCom perhaps? {That's my very cleaver play on the words computer and communication.} Or is that open to interpretation also? "Hay boys, I'm off to ComCom the Old Lady." Mmmm, possibly.

Skype it is then, and I'll just have to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous imaginary of old ladies in silence.

Quote; Bill DeWitt.

"The bathtub was invented in 1850 and the telephone in 1875. In other words, if you had been living in 1850, you could've sat in the bathtub for 25 years without having to answer the phone."

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