1 May 2011

And Then I Stressed The Virus….

After a whole bunch of stress... say what? Yes, stress!! Okay? Stress!! Now, where wuzz I. Right. Start again. I finally got the laptop virus sorted. I have no idea where he came from or what I did the clicky thing on to wake him up. What was it? He manifested himself as Vista Anti-spyware and more or less locked the computer down to himself. Web browsers, the works. Couldn’t do any scans, clean-ups, or that restore point looking thingy.

I know what you’re thinking, you’re thinking I hope he does that backup stuff, right? Backup? You’re asking if I do backups? You have to ask that? You think I’m some sort of complete computer novice? Come ON! Give your head a shake...... Short answer, no. Thus and hence the stress. {Note to self; learn how to do that backup stuff. Soon.}

Eventually I got it sorted and, as I heaved big breaths of relief, no, ‘breaths’, I remembered this, here we go again, old piece in the style of Dr. Seuss. Love it.

If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,
And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report.

If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
And the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,
And your data is corrupted cause the index doesn't hash,
Then your situation's hopeless and your system's gonna crash!

If the label on your cable on the table at your house,
Says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,
But your packets want to tunnel on another protocol,
That's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall,

And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss,
So your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse,
Then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang.
Because as sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang!

When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disk,
And the microcode instructions cause unnecessary risk,
Then you have to flash your memory,
and you'll want to RAM your ROM.
Quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your mom.

So lets move on to two wondrously sad windmill stories; for want of anything more catchy, click here for the first and here for the second.

Quote; Lewis Thomas

"The great thing about human language is that it prevents us from sticking to the matter at hand."

No comments: