9 Feb 2011

And Then There Was Room Service….

After secreting the note in the just below lukewarm, liquid scrambled eggs yesterday, this early AM at crack of cock crow, I approached the breakfast display with interest and a little trepidation.

Oh, you beauty!! Had the note worked? There before me wuzz a tureen of fluffy, perfectly scrambled chicken eggs!! With a generous heap on my plate and a song in my heart, I returned to my table. There, with napkin neatly knotted round my neck and toast buttered, I lifter a fork full to my mouth and…. absolutely stone cold. I mean, stone cold. Not the slightest hint of even lukewarm, just stone cold I’m talking about.

What to do? Get a selection of cold meats, cheese and rolls and build my own repast, that’s what to do. So that’s what I done did.

After devouring said cheesy, meaty comestibles I left the dining room.

Upon passing the breakfast display, on my way out, I couldn’t help but notice a tureen of fluffy, perfectly scrambled chicken eggs. With truly wondrous amounts of steam rising from them. And the breakfast guy standing proudly behind them. Smiling. Or possibly just breaking wind.

Tomorrow I think I’ll just slink into the dining room waving a big white flag.

Accustomed as I am to posting old, nicked bits, here’s yet another old, nicked bit. It’s been sitting on the computer for years and fits nicely with my breakfast guy adventures.

To the original author, whoever you may be and where ever you may be, thank you for brightening up the gentle art of room service in far, far, far away places. It’s so very true.

Room Service: "Morny. Ruin sorbees"
Guest: "Sorry, I thought I dialled room service"
Room Service: "Rye..Ruin sorbees..morny! Djewish to odor sunteen??"
Guest: "Uh..yes..I'd like some bacon and eggs"
Room Service: "Ow July den?"
Guest: "What??"
Room Service: "Ow July den?...pry, boy, pooch?"
Guest: "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please."
Room Service: "Ow July dee bayhcem...crease?"
Guest: "Crisp will be fine."
Room Service: "Hokay. An San toes?"
Guest: "What???"
Room Service: "San toes. July San toes?"
Guest: "Uhh... I don't think so"
Room Service: "No? Judo one toes??"
Guest: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo one toes' means."
Room Service: "Toes! toes!...why djew don juan toes? Ow bow singlish moppin we bother?"
Guest: "Oh, English muffin. I've got it! You were saying 'Toast'!! An English muffin will be fine."
Room Service: "We bother?"
Guest: "Yes please. Just put the bother on the side."
Room Service: "Wad?"
Guest: "I mean butter...just put it on the side."
Room Service: "Copy?"
Guest: "Sorry???"
Room Service: "Copy...tea...mill?"
Guest: "Yes. Coffee please, and that's all."
Room Service: "One Minnie. Ass ruin torino fee, strangle ache, crease baychem, tossy singlish moppin we bother honey sigh, and copy....rye?"
Guest: "Whatever you say."
Room Service; "Tendjewberrymud."
Guest: "You're welcome."

Quote; Orson Welles.

“My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four; unless there are three other people.”

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