17 Oct 2010

And Then There Was Another….

While we’re in poetry mode, here’s another hard on the heels of the other.

This came thumping into my already thumping head as I partook of the breakfast delights offered by this hotel wot is located in the far, faraway place I’ve come to.

Firstly though, I have to say that the nose bags provided by all the hotels I get to pop into are pretty good. What I don’t fully understand is why the one and only cook who can’t turn in a decent breakfast insists on following me round the world. It’s breakfast, but not as we know it…..

“Good morning egg preparation person. Two fried eggs please, sunny side up."
The egg preparation person gives me visual indication of understanding the request with vigorous side to side and up and down head movements.

Time passes and eventually I’m presented with my omelette.

Hay, ho. Moving along the tureens I come to the one helpfully labelled Baked Beans. The label should have read, Really, Really, REALLY Spicy Bake Beans - Guaranteed To Attract The Only Four Flies In Here At This Time Of Day.

Am I complaining? Not at all. I have food. Rumour has it some folk don’t.

Anyhoo, here you go…..

“And what would you like?” said the waiter, pensively picking his nose.
”Two hard boiled eggs you old bugger, you can’t stick your fingers in those.”

As a by-the-by, I’m sure you can imagine my delight, as I rode the elevator, to see a sign telling me that this is this far, faraway countries very first Zero Trans Fat Food hotel. So there you go then, but I’m not sure what that’s all about. There’s a bar with nibbles though……

Quote; Stephen Wright.

“I went to a cafe that advertised breakfast anytime. I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.”


Caratacus said...

Mac, the way you ordered two hard-boiled eggs reminds me of the story of a chap in a barbers shop, many moons ago. He had a face only a mother could love, his hair was lank, ill-disciplined and in desperate need of an oil change. When asked by the barber how he would like his hair cut, the vision replied in a nasal whine not dissimilar to Ken Livingstone's, "I'd like it cut in such a way as to suggest a caring, sensitive and romantic disposition yet with just a hint of unparalleled sexual athleticism".

I rather suspect that the wordsmith in you may appreciate that one!

Mac said...

I absolutely love that one. In fact I’m heading to the ‘nibble room’ to pass it along! Thank you.