27 Nov 2022

And Then, A Repeat...

    With footy taking centre stage I was reminded, eventually - it’s an age thing, of a couple of footy bits. The first was the classic Rules For Playground Football wot all of you of an age will be able to relate to, and the second, below, is my favourite footy joke so sit back and enjoy both before the misery of the real world takes over again come Monday.
   A Scouser was touring the USA on holiday and stopped in at a remote bar in the hills of Nevada. He was chatting to the bartender when he spied an old Indian sitting in the corner. He had tribal gear on and long white plaits round a wrinkled old face.
"What’s with the old Indian over there then?" asked the Scouser.
"That's the old Memory Man." replied the bartender. "He knows everything. He can remember any fact. Why don’t you try him out?"
   The Scouser goes over, introduces himself and thinking the old guy won't know anything about English football, says, "So you’re the memory man eh? So who won the 1965 FA Cup Final then?"
"Liverpool." replies the Memory Man in a blink.
"Who did they beat?"
"Leeds," was the reply.
"And the score?"
"Who scored the winning goal?"
"Ian St. John." Was the old man's further reply.
   The Scouser was blown away by this and, on returning home to Liddypool, told everyone about the amazing Memory Man.
   Many years later the Scouser went back to the USA and while he was there thought he would try to find the impressive Memory Man again. Eventually he found the bar and, lo and behold, sitting in the same seat was the Indian, older and yet more wrinkled
   Because he had been so impressed by the old man, and as a sign of respect, the Scouser decided to greet him in the traditional Indian manner so approached him, smiling, arm raised, palm forward and called out, "How."
The old Indian looked up and said, "Diving header in the six yard box."

Quote;  Howard Wilkinson.

“I am a firm believer that if you score one goal the other team have to score two to win.”


Ripper said...

You know, that old football rules in the playground thing - I must have first read that 20 years ago. I've read it more than a few times since, and every time it just gets funnier. Must be an age thing.

A couple of other classic, very funny items. The Farting Contest (whole site is worth exploring)...


How to give your cat a pill..


How many dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?


Mac said...

Yes, some things just never get old.
Your links? Yet another case of great minds colliding.
Love 'em, especially piling a cat...

James Higham said...

Nice one.

Mac said...

You can't beat the old ones can you?