Yesterday, over at Nourishing Obscurity, was a joke of the genie genre which reminded me of another genie genre joke from before and before. Quite possibly from even before that even.
This tale relates to the ever popular trio of an Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman who, through circumstances beyond their control and recounted in detail in many other stories, found themselves marooned on a desert island.
Early one morning the three guys, for wont of anything better to do, were walking along the beach each silently reflecting upon their predicament, when the Englishman spotted something glinting in the sand.
Bending and dusting sand from the glittering object he exclaimed. “Whoa!! This looks like one of they oil lamps wot’ll have a genie in it! Innit?”
”Barmpot.” Muttered the Scotsman.
”What’s a genie?” asked the Irishman.
Undeterred by his two marooned companions comments, the Englishman rubbed the lamp.
With a loud whooshing sound, for a whoosh is the sound that always precedes the appearance of a genie, a huge genie appeared and loomed over the three chums.
”Thank you so very big for releasing me from that most uncomfortable lamp. I mean, look at the size of it and look at the size of me! I have in my power the ability to grant three wishes to whom so ever releases me from the lamp but as there are three of you before me I’ll grant each of you one wish subject to the terms and conditions applicable to genie wishes and sundry other good works. The Englishman may go first as he was the rubber of intent.”
”Oh, wow, how, like, totally awesome!! You know what? I’ve always wanted a really big……” The genie shouted. “Will you shut up!! I’ll go through this once and once only so all of you pay attention! Look around you, engage your brains and THEN make a wish. By the way, what you nearly wished for is covered in another genie joke and involves a piano.”
”Right. Okay, I wish I was back in England in my home town with my family and friends. How’s that?”
There was a loud ‘POP’ and he was gone!!
The genie then looked down at the Scotsman and noticing he was of a military bearing, addressed him thus. “It’s now your turn my lion-hearted jock-in-a-frock with a dagger down your sock.”
“Would I be right to say going home rich would count as two wishes?”
”That you would and may I, once again, refer you to the terms and conditions of this one-time only offer?”
”Right. I’d like to be back in Scotland with my family and friends then.”
There was another loud ‘POP’ and he was gone!!
“That,” the genie says, looking down at the Irishman, “leaves your good self and I. For you a wish then for me freedom. What’ll it be for you my good blarney buddy?”
The Irishman looked about him at the lonely ocean and the desolate, deserted island, shivered, looked up at the genie and asked, “Can I have my friends back please?”
Quote; J. M. Barrie.
“The moment you doubt whether you can fly, you cease for ever to be able to do it.”
6 comments:
I'm disappointed in you Mac, poking fun at the Irish like that. They're not dumb - an Irishman has just invented a new type of parachute that opens on impact.
Heard the one about the Irishman who replaced 250 panes of glass in his greenhouse, only to then discover that his spectacles were cracked?
Oh dear me. Shall we have a ‘there was a Scotsman....’ joke to redress the balance? It’s gotta be a Billy quicky - A Scotsman dropped a penny and as he bent to pick it up it hit him on the back of the head.
No, I think we should change the words 'Irishman, Scotsman or Englishman' for 'Politician' or even 'Deb Arnott'.
Q - What's the difference between a dead dog lying in the road, and a dead politician lying in the road?
A - There are skid marks in front of the dog.
Or, looking at the news yesterday, an Englishman, a Scotsman and a Welshman....
Can I nip your head one more time please? Do you have any knowledge of this battery or the kit?
http://www.ukecigcabin.com/product/vision-spinner-1300mah
...and the kit - which benefits from 2 X batteries.
http://www.ukecigstore.com/e-cigarette-kits/variable-voltage-kits/spinner-mini-nova-kit-650mah-by-vision.html
By the way, should you ever recommend a Gamucci to friends as a ‘first step’ to vaping, mention to them that when it comes to charging DO NOT screw the battery bit into the USB bit roughneck tight and one turn more. Screw it in and STOP at the very, very first hint of resistance. First method, for me, resulted in no charge - Second method is cool. Kind of the opposite to what I’d expect. It may have been mentioned in the instructions, but who reads those? This may be true for other batteries??
The 'Spinner' is the eGo Twist that I was telling you about on the other post. As I had been saying, there are quite a few types of eGo battery and the Twist (or Spinner) is the variable voltage version. You will notice that each e-cig vender sells the same item (usually made by Kanger Tech) but under their own name. For example Innokin also sell the TECC VTR under the name of iTaste.
Personally I chose the Passthrough version which, because of the nature of the charger, avoids having 2 batteries (you can use it whilst it is charging). The Passthrough has a removeable cover on the end, which reveals a mini USB port, you need nothing more than a USB cable to charge it. Instead of the removeable cover, the Spinner has a rotating control to adjust the voltage and takes a 'screw in' type charger.
You can have a wide variety of tanks on any eGo battery, but if you choose a dual coil tank, only the Spinner would have the capability to power it properly.
Your findings on the charger are noted and I will pass that info on. As for the Nova and Mini Nova tanks, I have had these and was less than impressed. Apart from internal leaking, these tanks have a top mounted coil with long wicks. If you vape it down too far the wick can't absorb enough fluid to carry to the heated coil so it starts to taste burnt. One of my reasons for going onto the Protank is because the coil is bottom mounted with a very short wick, and it is submerged in the liquid down to the last drop. And the seals ar excellent too.
Apollo e-cigs sell (or did, around a year ago) a mini tank for the eGo battery, of the CE4 variety which is wickless, so does not suffer the problems of wick type tanks. The vapour production is adequate. These do suffer with leaking problems though, but I'm sure that with some perseverence those problems can be overcome.
All noted and understood. The battery being a battery and re-branded did occur to me but way after my ‘comment’. I apologise.
Okay my friend, I promise I’ll leave you alone now and, once again, may I thank you most sincerely for you time and patience offering your help and advice.
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