8 Mar 2013

And Then, A 70% Chance....

Did you catch the BBC news yesterday evening? Processed meat's going to kill ya'll. No problem with that as I'm sure I'm not alone with being totally numb to any and all new, new scare stories.

What did catch my attention was the reporters stunningly mind numbing comment that people who eat two bits of bacon and a sausage every day have a 70% greater chance of dying. That's it. A 70% greater chance of dying. What's that all about then? Mean anything to you? Am I missing something?

I tried the BBC web site relating to this horrifying revelation for clarification but with no joy. Just the usual, '…a scientific study into processed meat has found that if, possibly, maybe, global warming, could, might, might not, however, Co2……'

Why not a real scary attention grabber?
A shocking new scarytific study has found that of a sample of 10,000 people who regularly exercised and, as part of a balanced diet, ate fruit and vegetables every day, all 10,000 eventually died. Doctors are demanding the government take some sort of action of some sort or another in an attempt to reduce something of some sort or another.

The study also found that the vast majority of the population has filed this 'alarmingly scary' information in that part of the brain labelled, STUFF TO IGNORE.

However, it also found that the truly timid are still terrified of everything. Especially hairy spiders and shadows. The study noted that the timid are rapidly approaching scared beyond scared overload and will have to dump yet more of their ever dwindling stock of common sense to free up room ready for the next scary thing.

While we're talking scary, let's briefly talk sobby. You've no doubt seen the begging – sorry, charity TV adverts bombarding us every evening? The current top two seem to be saving children and the WWF saving snow leopards. Strangely, one lot want you to donate £3 a month to save some big cats and the other lot only want a donation of £2 a month to save children. Something wrong with that picture?

Quote; David Letterman.

“USA Today has come out with a new survey - apparently, three out of every four people make up 75% of the population.”

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