2 Jun 2023

And Then, Help Needed...

   This is an advanced notification prior to the launch, once accepted by the charities commission, of a new charity.
   I’m sure you’re all aware of the huge number of property front gardens that are being stoned over for off road parking and for getting those electric cars, bicycles, scooters and roller-skates in range of home charging points.
   The sad result of this is the ever diminishing natural habitat for our dear old friend, the slug.
   Some make it to the imagined safety of the back gardens only to encounter poisoned pellets.
   With this in mind, we hope to form SOS – Save Our Slugs – to establish safe refuge areas round the country for our dear old friends and also educate gardeners regards the spreading of poison.
   Soon we hope to have our campaign underway and there’ll be a phone number to call to give just £29.99 per month to help to keep slugs - and the charity management - in happy comfort.
   Owing to the present cost of living crises, when you join us you’ll also get an opt out code to cancel your donation at any time. This will be a two hundred character, combined upper and lower case,  alphanumeric code. Just call the number provided and enter your code within six seconds to cancel.
   Looking forward to welcoming y’all to SOS right soon...
   And thus we end with a fittingly cheerful charity number. In fact, our world as it presently is:

Quote;  Norah Wilson.

“Okay, but would you say between us we have the combined IQ of at least a garden slug?”

4 comments:

Ripper said...

Mac,
Speaking of charities, I have a kid in Africa that I feed, clothe, school and inoculate for just 75p per day. Now that's nothing compared to what it cost to send him there.

Mac said...

Ripper,
Amazing you got him there. Please tell the government how it's done.

Ripper said...

Mac,
I can't remember how I got him there, but there's a nice dinghy he can get back on when he's 18.

Don’t spend two quid to dry-clean a shirt. Donate it to the Salvation Army instead. They’ll clean it and put it on a hanger. Next morning, buy it back for seventy five pence.

With your help and continued support, from as little as £29.99 a month, little orphan Mwogli can have 600 minutes and unlimited texts.

Mac said...

Ripper,
Yup, he'll be back.
By-the-by, Fancy a break here? Get yourself an old dinghy and early one morning sit in it on the beach and when the Ghost Guard show up, ask for a fortnight in York...