16 Jul 2022

And Then It Comes...

   It being Saturday, I topped up my pill poppin’ time accelerator then had a look at the TV and it would seem it’s going to be  a lot like summer early next week.
   So far so warm but the ‘news’ is telling me we’ve never seen anything as terrifyingly hot as wot’s coming. In fact it’s going to be so, like, awesomely hot that ‘they’ve’ issued, for the first time ever, a red extreme heat alert with, for the fear factor, a danger to life warning.
   Oh me oh my, we’re all going to fry an’ die. Won’t someone from the government please come and hold my hand? Wot can I do? I’ve never been hot before.
   Whoa! Just in time, they’re holding a Cobra meeting. An emergency meeting is being held...  ...amid soaring temperatures, which experts have warned could put lives at risk.
   Oh, wait! There’s one thing we can do here. I’ll change the bed duvet to one that’s just one tog in weight as, just maybe, thirteen and a half tog is a tad on the heavy side to cope with the incoming meltdown.
   Amazingly, we worked that one out all by ourselves and on our own several weeks ago as summer approached without any media or official guidance. And the fans – up and downstairs - are already rigged  on the remote switches.
                   
How cleaver is all that then?
   However, the remote switch rigging could be to no avail as the media, to further ramp-up the fear factor, are also warning of possible power cuts and that don’t say much for all those super expensive solar panels cluttering up the countryside do it? Windmills? Let me think about that...
   I guess that relates to all the mains cables melting or spontaneously combusting in the heat, right?
   Please be afraid; be very, very afraid. And if your not, fear not, the media have more frighteners for later.
   Soon we’ll own nothing and be made constantly afraid...

Quote;  Jeannette Walls.

“One benefit of Summer was that each day we had more light to read by.”

2 comments:

Doonhamer said...

But remember to have all the "vaccine" booster shots.
And the "climate" will serve as a reason for clots.
Just realised that "clots" in my bit of doggerel
Can be interpreted in two ways, both correct, for all.
I already have my coat, thanks.

Mac said...

Doonhamer,
I'm sure the hot weather will be blamed for countless chemi cocktail adverse reactions and, sadly, deaths.
Clots? That works on so many levels right now.
Don't bother getting your coat; it's going to be warm...