17 Jul 2017

And Then He’s Free...

I woke this morning, always a plus, meandered down the stairs, fired up the coffee maker and opened the kitchen door to the outside world to allow the air used yesterday to be replaced with new a intake for today.

As I turned back to the coffee maker I spotted a not overly small spider who also appeared to be having an early morning meander. Dose he want a coffee?

Wot to do? Stamp on him or scoop him up and liberate him in the garden? The scooping option would entail bending down which is always something to avoid when you get to an age, and as my head was just normalising after pulling on my socks, the stamping option seemed good.

Hang on a foot flouncing moment. Stamping would mean bending down to clean up and I guess he’s got as much right to be hear as I have, I went into scooping mode which, with the promise of fresh coffee as a reward, went dizzyingly well. This was aided by the spider just walking onto my proffered palm in that trusting way only old dogs and spiders exhibit.

After carefully and cleverly closing my hand over the guy, I walked down the garden and liberated him amongst some pleasant foliage and headed back to get my first caffeine hit of the day.

It was then I thought that the spider may well be a house fellow, him being in the house an’ all, and thus not best suited to suddenly finding himself in a jungle. With this in mind, I quickly closed the outside door so’s he couldn’t get back in the house.

Later, whilst sipping caffeine hit two, I gave this some further thought. What had I just done? I’d actually closed a door so a spider couldn’t get back in the house? I’d actually done that? Am I nuts? For those of you struggling to think of the answer to that question, the word you’re looking for is three letters and starts with a ‘Y’ and as it’s a stand alone word needing no further qualifying, use a big ‘Y’ and not one where the tail hangs down below the line.

After completing caffeine intake number two – or was that three? - I silently gazed out the window and wondered wot further adventures the day would proffer. Man, who knew this retirement  thingy was going to be so exciting?

Quote;  Dave Barry.

“Spiders so large they appear to be wearing the pelts of small mammals.”


A K Haart said...

I had a similar experience with a wasp by the kitchen door. I whacked it with a rolled-up magazine and it fell to the ground as if mortally wounded. I opened the door intending to flick it outside but the little blighter just flew off.

I almost felt sorry for it having to face the big wide world with a really bad headache and possibly worse.

Mac said...

A. K. Haart,
This indiscriminate whacking of these guys may account for the reason you seem to see so many flies buzzing round the garden in circles. Or, when they land, walking with a pronounced limp.
That reminded me of garden snails and how being kind can be cruel and also of the person who spends their time marking snails, moving them some distance and watching for their return...