7 Jun 2014

And Then A Tone….

As I approached the end of yet another tiring day, all that remained to do was a little precision marking-up for the next phase to commence at cock-crow tomorrow. Now I know full well that anything requiring precision and the use of measuring thingies should be done early doors leaving the rough stuff for the fag end. I reversed this as I’ve never been a great believer in my own advice. Some may think I’m stupid. I prefer to think of it as challenging my mental abilities.

Thus it was that I embarked on the fit-up. This required me up a stepladder, supporting an item of some considerable weight across two walls and pencilling in guide-lines to be used for the final measurements to be checked against.

Getting it into position utilising two hands was a doddle. Then I had to support the item with one hand, one knee and my forehead. Good to go! Reach for pencil with free hand. Mmmm, not there. Swivel eyes and spy pencil waaaay over there.

Relax everything to ground zero, retrieve pencil, ensure it can be reached from pocket with finger and thumb of left hand then start again.

You know where this is going do you not?

All perfectly positioned, reach for pencil, fumble pencil and pencil drops to the floor.

Relax everything to ground zero, retrieve pencil and start again.

This time everything went perfectly to ‘plan’ and I made the critical marks. However, let’s just wait a critical minute here!! Not a mark to be seen!! Check pencil. It seems the pencil point broke off in the fall that came before.

Relax everything to ground zero, admit defeat for today, clean up and prepare to shower.

Suitably soaped up with my body being beaten back into some sort of shape by the jetting power of hot water, I heard a sound. What is that? Oh boy!! I don’t believe this! Mobile phone! How can this be? It never rings!!

I grabbed a towel, paddle into the bedroom and retrieve my phone. Nobody – nothing. back to shower. Within seconds, there it goes again – louder! As I prepared to exit the shower again a rather large and very sad penny dropped. It was the chimes of an ice-cream van crawling up street……

On the whole it was a good day, as good days go and as good days go it finally went.

Quote;  Robert M. Hutchins.

“This is a do-it-yourself test for paranoia: you know you've got it when you can't think of anything that's your fault.”


Caratacus said...

Just read this to the Memsahib (to explain why I was laughing so hard) ... I was subjected to a contemplative stare and she remarked that your wife had a better time of it than she would have in similar circs. The third time up the ladder would have been accompanied by language that would make a drunken matelot blush ... not my fault - I am an expressive soul ...

Mac said...

What started running through my mind was “Paddy’s Sick Note”!
While relaxing in the evening I remembered something from the mists of time. A wonderful parody, somewhat similar to “The Sick Note”, of a portion of Robinson Crusoe; the part where he’s repeatedly making his way from the beach to the wreck and back salvaging many required items. In the parody, his first reclamation was a cask of rum and after each subsequent trip he rewards himself by taking a large drink of rum. With each trip, and consumption of rum, the descriptions of his trips become more and more ridiculously hilarious!
Although no alcohol was taken during my endeavours, there were definite similarities!
My search for the parody has, to date, proved fruitless but continues at time of writing.....