19 Apr 2014

And Then Another Ultimatum….

Tensions are running high along the boarder between the wet-side and the dry-side after what has been described as a ‘totally unprovoked attack’, by an inhabitant of the wet-side, on Prime Sinister David Cummerbund.

The Foreign Supplicant, Willy Vague has condemned the sting operation in the strongest finger wagging way possible, stating that it was totally uncalled for as all Mr Cummerbund wanted to do was have an informal chat with a fringe limpet movement to explore ways he could help them get a sucker on the leavers of power with a further promise of joyously joining that EU lookin’ deal.  
“I can’t start to tell you how cross I am at this stinging of poor David,” whined Willy, “so soon after he’d found religion an’ all, and I’m calling upon the wet-side dwellers to reconsider their position before I turn loose the dogs of economic sanctions.  Also, let’s be, like, totally clear here; David is a ‘stinger’ and not a ‘stingee’.”

In a statement from the wet-side, a sack o’ jelly, said, “Economic what now?  Look, we’ve always had a pretty good relationship with dry-side dwellers even though summers can be trying. The breaching of our boarders by paddling people can be tolerated but when they barrel in with kids nets, scoop us up, stuff us in little buckets and leave us baking in the sun just to unceremoniously dump us back in the wet- side at tea-time, well, tempers can run a tad high. 
Us wet-side dwellers also get along with each other very well. Well, limpets are kind o’ weird lookin’ but we coexist quite happily with them holding the rocks and the rest of us just aimlessly drifting about. Then, out of the dry, along comes this weird guy and starts splashing about trying to stir the limpets up with promises of a big baby blue starry flag. Really, is that guy nuts? 
Do we regret our retaliation now another weird guy is waving a finger at us? Not at all. What we do regret is not waiting ‘till the first weird guy was over our boarder, up to his chest in the wet-side then simultaneously attacked his dangly bits and bottom. That’d work!”

The BBC are reporting that war is inevitable  as there are unconfirmed rumours that several Portuguese Men o’ War are now lazily circling Lanzarote……

Quote;  John Evans.

“The Internet is like a giant jellyfish. You can't step on it. You can't go around it. You've got to get through it.”

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