4 Jun 2011

And Then They Worked Again, Just….

That’s that then. Wot then? The base for the new shed be laid is wot then.

I remember, vaguely, years ago, news of a young guy making it to being a millionaire. How’d he do it? He was the bestest, fastest paving slab layer in the whole wide world. That’s how he done did it. I’ve just laid thirty two paving slabs over two days and you know what? That boy earned every penny of his million.

It was a team effort as ‘Her Indoors’ was always there to help when I needed to stand up-right. To be honest, right now, I ache in places I didn’t know I had places.

As an aside to this, over here is a sad tale of flourie jackets an’ stuff. I had a visi jacket moment myself that day while buying sand. Said sand wasn’t in the usual place in the DIY super store, but I did spot an assistant person, through the big plastic curtain, in the warehouse.

I stepped through the curtain and called out with a cheery “Halloo.” to be greeted in return with a panicky, “Step back! Step back! Health and safety! No safety gear!”
”I just want to ask a question old boy.”
”Please step back. There’re cameras!” By this time he was up with me so we escorted each other the three feet back through the curtain without incident.
” I just wanted to know if you’ve got any sharp sand?”
”Sure have, it’s in the warehouse. I’ll take your truck and put ‘em on. How many? One? Two?”
”Ten bags please.”
”Ten bags………. Ten?”
”Ten. Tell you what, put this yellow looking jacket on and you can get ‘em yourself!”
”No probs. Thanks for your assistance.” Pratt.

See? At the prospect of having to put out, the rules changed. The sad thing is, the warehouse was a mirror of the store. Only difference being, no people, nobody. So the really sad thing is – how long before there’s a rack of yellow jackets by the main store door? Put one on before you shop. Hay! Hard hats as well, eh? You just know it’s coming. I can feel it in my water.”

The tricky part of the operation was navigating the truck, while maintaining momentum, through the store to the check-out. You know, set and drift and stuff. And the obligatory one wobbly wheel. See what I mean? Those other shoppers should have been wearing those flouriescent jackety thingies as I pushed, slid and skidded my way through.

I could, of course, have paid, then driven round to their off-loading area to pick the bags up but I’m sure you can figure the response I got upon presenting this complex request.

Quote; Ellen DeGeneres.

“Friends will write me letters. They run out of room on the front of the letter. They write 'over' on the bottom of the letter. Like I'm that much of a moron. Like I need that there. Because if it wasn't there, I'd get to the bottom of the page: 'And so Kathy and I went shopping and we-----' That's the craziest thing! I don't know why she would just end it that way.”


Caratacus said...

Been following your travails with increasing unease .... I have to Put Up A Shed in the v. near future and I'm wondering if there is ANY way I could avoid it. Ho hum, the memsahib has just fixed me with one of Those looks and the necessary resolve must be found...

BTW (and completely off topic) I tracked this down the other day and wondered whether you would like it as much as I did:


Mac said...

Happily, young enough not to remember that version. Sadly, old enough to remember Mario Fabrizi doing the Sand Dance. Remember him? Ah, the memories. More memories tomorrow.

Sheds? Sheds you say? In a nutshell, to date; Pulling down - good. Preparing base - bad. Putting up new - TBA.