22 Jan 2011

And Then There Were Claws….

Walking past a Fishmongers we a-spied crab claws. We entered the Fishmongers.
"Crab claws please."
"Serpently Sir."
”Serpently.” I mused.
”Serpently - certainly. Get it? It's rhyming slang. Not as cleaver as a crafty Cockney of course, but the best we can do round this part of the world."
"Got ya. Serpently it is then."
"Certainly. How many crab claws would you like?"
"Fazakerley two kilos please."
"Fazakerley?" He said to me.
"Fazakerley." I said to him.
"Fazakerley." He said to himself.
“Fazakerley.” I said to myself.
"Ahh, he means exactly!!" He said to himself.
"Exactly." I said to me, him and himself.
"Fazakerley. I must remember that one."
"Why?" I enquired.
"Well, it's a bit more rhyming slang." He said.
"It doesn't rhyme very well though, does it? And what does 'Fazakerley' mean? Is it even a proper word? Is it something to do with Liverpool? Is Liverpool even real?” I pondered.
"Then again, is 'serpently’ a proper word?" He also pondered. "Serpent is, I think, but serpently..... Well, right. Two kilos it is then."
"That'll be just Pontefract good Monger.”

Outside, ‘her inside’ said, “What was all that about? You stupid?” She says that a lot.

This evening we'll have crab salad. And later, up the pears and bananas to bed.

A Saturday smile. As always, be careful with that clicky stuff if….. never mind.

Quote; Lynda Montgomery.

“Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God....I could be eating a slow learner.”


Caratacus said...

Did you ever see a tv documentary about Colonel Hilary Hook?

His tale of being at public school and asking the form master whilst at dinner (fish course), "These are soles aren't they sir?" then, "Are soles in season sir?" etc. until he was taken off and thrashed, still has me smiling even now...

Mac said...

Last time I ordered sole in a restaurant, two people came out of the kitchen and sang to me......