13 Sep 2010

And Then There Were Names….

This is a little bit like the shopping fun posts. Well, just a little bit. I mean it’s along the same lines. That’s to say…. never mind. It’s only you and me reading this is it?

A long time ago, in another life, I used to do ever so very much flying… Yes? Oh no, how did you get back in? Oh well, yes? No, in aeroplanes. And? No, I didn’t drive. Where wuzz me? Right. When I fly for lots of hours I prefer to be quiet. That is, not to hold long, boring conversations with the total stranger sitting next to me. I prefer eyes tight shut and the music on.

If you fly, and enjoy your own company, this little fun thingy works and pretty harmless. It works even better if you have a small notebook and pen, a pen with no pointy bits, to hand.

Most folk sit down, exchange muted greetings and that’s it. You know you’ve trouble when you get an overly gushing, lengthy greeting. So try this if the Herbert wot sits down next to you kicks off. If he/her/it doesn’t kick off, then job done, nothing to see hear. But let’s assume he/her/it does fire up. Then, with the game afoot, it proceeds something like this.

“Hi!! How are you today? Can I look at your newspaper? Man, I’m hungry. When do we eat? Hope the weather stays okay eh?”
”I’m fine, thanks. Yes, me too, soon, me too. My name’s Foggy by the way.”
”My name’s Mike. Pleased to meet you Foggy.”
”Whoa! Hold up there just a very small minute. Or as we say down my way, just a minute minute. My poor old head isn’t too hot with names anymore. I’d better right that one down.”
”Ha ha. I’ll spell it for you shall I? Ha ha ha.”
”No, that’s okay thanks, I think I’ve got it. Let’s see now, F-O-G-G-Y. Right! So, what’s your name again?”
“Mi…. you know what? I think I’ll glue this hear headset on and watch the movie. By.”
”Bu-by.”

That’s usually an end to it. I find it far more polite, and fun, than just jamming the ear buds in the head and cranking up the volume. It also encourages the person/thing to keep a respectable distance rather than dozing off draped and dribbling all over you.


Quote; Gunter's Second Law of Air Travel

“The strength of the turbulence is directly proportional to the temperature of your coffee.”

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