12 Feb 2010

And Then There Was A New Sofa……..

Check sitting room carefully for a sofa. Yep, got one.

Check price for a new sofa. Good deals on the go.

Do I need a new sofa? Yes – check. Well, no, but there are some good deals on the go.

Do I need a bigger sofa? Yes – check. Well, no, but there are some good deals on the go.

Do I need a recliner? Yes – check. Well,no, but….. you get the drift so far?

And so off to the sofa selling place;

Will it fit the room? Check.

Is it hard wearing? Check.

Is it stain resistant? Check.

Is it resistant to the un-controllable dribbling of an old man asleep? Check.

Is it resistant to the un-controllable dribbling of an old man awake? Check.

Looking good so far for the sofa. Now for the biggie. Make sure it’s colour coordinated with the rest of the sitting room decorations. Check. Now remember that last bitty.

Sofa delivery men deliver the sofa and it looks perfect. And then reason leaves the room along with the sofa delivery folk. Must get a sofa throw so the sofa never wears out. Ever.

Seems these throw looking things come in a million different colours and there was even one with a million colours in it. Sad to say not one of the million colours was anywhere near close to the sofa colour so won’t go too well with the room decorations. What to do? Just get the closest ‘match’ possible. Anything will look better than old newspapers. And quickly – must save the sofa!! The sofa must be saved!!

If you are ever tempted to buy a sofa throw to throw over your sofa there is a special word to look out for on the sofa throw wrapper. That magic word is Chenille.

Chenille vs. throw vs. sofa = disaster. After only a few minutes of the sofa throw being thrown on the sofa, sitting in the room was much like being in one of those glass dome shaky snow stormy things. I have never seen anything like it. The fluff was absolutely everywhere. And it cunningly clings to any article of clothing and is impossible to remove. Until, and this is really,really weird, until you sit on or brush past other stuff. Then it will multiply and partially transfer to anything your cloths touch – anything. Within half a day the entire house was officially declared fluff full, the car was totally fluffed and even the garden had more than its share of fluff.

At times like this, as I have previously mentioned, you really can’t beat a quick Google. Once that was out of the way, and feeling more relaxed, I searched the Inter-web-a-net for what to do in the event of a Chenille fluff attack. One cure suggested was to stuff the Chenille sofa throw in a tumble dryer. Do NOT do this. I’m not saying any more. Just DON'T do it. Don’t. Another cunning suggestion was to spray the sucker with hair spray…… Yup, that’s what it said. No, I didn’t. What I did do was stuff it in the washing machine and then let the thing dry outside – tried it again and then groped my way through the snow to the back door and threw the throw away.

Three weeks now in a Chenille free zone and the damn snow stuff is still glued to things. It’s now also totally invisible until it mysteriously finds your cloths.

Chenille; what the hell is that stuff for? I mean really, what’s it for? Who would be stupid enough to buy that stuff? I mean...... Oh, right.


'Shin; Device for finding furnituer in the dark.'

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