23 Aug 2019

And Then, Worth Remembering...

Something from the depths of history I stumbled into while sorting various drives which may prove useful for any engineers an’ such wot stumble through the Foggy Mirror:

              Guidelines For Successful Engineers,

1.  When you don’t know what you’re doing, do it neatly
2. Experience is directly proportional to the quantity  of equipment ruined or destroyed.
3.  Past experience is always true; never be misled by present facts.
4.   In case of doubt, make it sound convincing.
5.   Do not believe in miracles, RELY on them.
6.   Teamwork is essential as it allows you to blame someone else.
7.   Recording of data is essential as it indicates you’ve been doing something.
8.   No matter what result is anticipated, someone will always fit facts to it.
9.   No matter what happens, there’s always someone who believes it happened according to his pet theory.
10. The probability of an event occurring is inversely proportional to its desirability.
11. The quantity which, when added to, subtracted from, divided into, multiplied by the result obtained experimentally will give the correct result, is known as a constant.
12.  Experiments must be reproducible; they should always fail in the same way.
13.  If an experiment works first time, you’re probably using the wrong equipment.
14.  An experiment may be considered a success if no more than half  the data must be discarded to obtain agreement with your pet theory.
15.  For neatness, always draw the curves first, then plot the data.
16.   If an experiment is a complete failure it can always be used as a bad example.

When in charge - Ponder.
When in trouble - Delegate.
When in doubt - Mumble.

Quote;  ???

“How many software engineers does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They wouldn't do it. It's a hardware problem.”

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