And Then A Revelation...

Yesterday I made a discovery that’ll fundamentally change our lives to an unbelievable extent relating to meal preparation times.

No idea about yours, but the timer on our microwave requires the continual pressing and releasing of a button that, with each press, increases the time in ten second increments. As you can imagine this gets a tad tedious with an item requiring eleven minuets to cook heat-up. Yesterday, purely by accident, my forefinger lingered on the timer button and guess wot? While keeping my finger on the button, the timer shot up  in increments of one minute! Oh bliss!

There’s a mind bogglingly sad sting in the tail of this tale. And that would be? We’ve had the microwave for ten years... On reflection, over those ten years we’ve probably wasted close to eighteen months of our lives repeatedly and unnecessarily pressing a button.

Those wasted eighteen months are, of course, in addition to the sensation you get that you’ve left the accepted scientific understanding of time and entered that weird time bending microwave slow motion dimension whilst watching your microwave clock count down. If you’ve never noticed this spooky aberration in time before, trust me, after reading this, the next time you’re watching and waiting for the ‘ding’, you will. Once your attention is drawn to this micro-time bending concept, there’s no going back so henceforth you’ll curse me every time time seems to stand still while you wait for your microwave to heat your meal. You’ll discover you seem to have time aplenty so to curse. Sorry about that.

As for me, this simple revelation further confirms my belief as to how dumb I really do be. Will I now start  to pay attention to instruction books? Nah.

Quote;  Steven Wright.

“I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.”