“Right, remember your poppy? Well, at eleven o’clock today we’ll all be having two minutes silence.” I informed my little nest of vipers.
”No idea what you mean.” She said, obviously not knowing what I meant.
”At eleven o’clock today there’ll be two minutes silence to remember all those who gave their…… we won’t talk for two minutes.” I replied, deciding to skip the complicated bits.
”I can do that.” was her, not altogether convincing, reply.
”Yea, right. Tell you what, let’s practice.” I suggested with a feeling of foreboding.
”Plastic?” Came the easily made mistake.
”Try it.” I offered as a simple alternative.
”Try what then?” She questioned, having forgotten all about plastic.
”Not talking for two minutes.” I answered, trying not to grind my teeth.
”Why?” she again enquired.
”Because at eleven o’clock today we’ll all be having two minutes silence.” I said sensing the start of a headache.
”No idea what you mean.” Was her rapidly loosing all interest rejoinder.
”You get the spooky feeling we’re going round in circles here?” I asked with just a hint of powered tooth.
”I haven’t moved.” she assured me.
”It’s a figure of speech.” I blurted out without considering the consequences.
”No idea what you mean.” Whoa!! Didn’t see that sucker coming!
After a morning of complex practice she did indeed maintain a dignified, respectful silence for the entire two minutes. Boy, was she fit to burst by the conclusion or wot!!
And so with the blissful, all too short silence at an end she returned to talking. Remember, there’s a gaping chasm between talking and saying something. And I resumed what I was doing previously, just offering up the occasional, minimal interjection, learned over time to elicit the least need for elaboration, such as, ‘Yea, I know.’ or, ‘I agree.’ which is a firm favourite. Also the ever popular, ‘You’re so right!’ All these occasionally qualified with a nod of the head either up and down or, if I pick up the nuance correctly, from side to side. Possibly accompanied with a ‘tut’ or two.
Quote; Bill Cosby.
“Women don't want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think - in a deeper voice.”
2 comments:
Also the ever popular, ‘You’re so right!’
Careful with that one.
You're so right! If I'm quick and feel things could be slipping out of control after the use of that one, I quickly resort to the oft used, relatively neutral standby, "Mmmmmm."
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